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          Everyone at Florida's Sea World is thrilled with the new "Undersea Kingdom," a maze of underwater plexiglass tunnels that permits visitors to get closer to marine life than ever before. The opening ceremonies include many important guests... and one uninvited baby shark who accidentally enters the park's lagoon through a faulty sea gate and subsequently dies. The young shark's 35-foot mother soon follows her offspring, creating the most horrifying tale of terror ever filmed in the water.

"Overman was killed inside the park. The baby was caught inside the park. Its mother is inside the park."
                             - Kathryn Morgan

          Back in 2001, I was trying to come up with a great birthday present for my girlfriend, so I candidly asked her one day what she thought would be a great film to post on The Flesh Farm. I'm pretty sure she might have just thrown out the first film that came to mind just to get me back on whatever topic we were discussing, but she suggested Jaws 3. Through the next couple weeks, I searched every goddamn corner of the internet, emailed companies and even called some well known poster shops trying to locate an original poster print of Jaws 3, but it seemed as though none existed. I had never experienced such difficulty finding any type of movie memorabilia up until this point! Where the fuck were these posters?!! Well, after viewing Jaws 3 recently to add it to the site, I found out why.
          I'm pretty sure that every copy was ripped off the theater walls and sacrificed to the Gods of fire in the parking lot after disgruntled movie goers realized they had been robbed blind. I can see them now - pouring gasoline, lighting matches, dancing around the inferno like Kevin Costner in Dances with Wolves, then breaking into an orgy that would bring a tear to a german pornographers eye. Yes, my peoples, this movie sucks. It doesn't suck quite as bad as the next sequel (Jaws: The Revenge) but I'm sure the hundreds of poster-burning sex-fiends of 1983 still remember this film as being one to forget, and the after party one to remember. Lets get to it...

          The Gory Good: Yeah, I'm slinging a lot of shit at this film but it still has some upsides. Take Bess Armstrong for example... she is one of the only actors in the film to give a near flawless performance. She also holds the trophy for being the most attractive female in the film and perhaps through the entire Jaws series. Another great aspect of Jaws 3 is the fantastic underwater footage seen throughout the film. Granted it was shot at SeaWorld and inside giant tanks, opposed to the previous films where they were mostly shot out to sea, but it still delivers a breathtaking demonstration of the oceans inhabitants. That's about it for the good aspects of the film, seriously.

          The Bloody Bad: Where do I begin? The first thing that must be stated is Jaws 3 has some of the worst special effects that has ever stained the silver screen. The sheer magnitude of it's shitness might make you pass out from laughter. You'll notice the scenes I speak of when they appear. I'm pretty sure they hired a preschooler to paste a shark on a slab of construction paper for the "climax" shot. Why does this film need computer graphics for a severed arm floating in the water when it would've been cheaper to simply throw a foam latex arm in the water and sprinkle in some fake blood? The amount of stupidity that seethes through some film-makers heads astonishes me.

          Besides Bess Armstrong, the casting for the film is a tragedy. Lea Thompson, from Back to the Future fame, gives a performance which would warrant the death penalty in some countries and Dennis Quaid... well... it's Dennis Quaid. The rest of the cast is not worth mentioning.

          Tits and Ass: Sigh. Get ready for excessive excitement. Just kidding... not even worth a quarter chubby. Fuck.
          Slaughter/Carnage/Butchery: Take a look at the coroner's report. Pitiful. Only four deaths which were not impressive in the least. The only gore is after a group of tourists discover a park employee floating in the lake. His body is taken to a back room where it is examined. The corpse looks plastic... that's right... plastic. Last time I checked, none of my murder victims have ever morphed into an oversized plastic Halloween prop. Nope, they just rot with the others in the back of the barn.

Cast & Crew   |   Pictures  |   Coroner Report
Video Clip   |   Trailer

          - This film features the largest of the sharks featured in the Jaws movies. It was 35 feet long compared with its predecessors which were about 25 feet.

          - Dennis Quaid would later refer to this movie in an interview as "I was in Jaws what?"

          - It is a fictional Sea World as featured in the film as the real one is in Orlando, a landlocked city.

          - The shark in this film snarls and growls. This is quite impressive when you consider that sharks in reality have no vocal cords or lungs.

          - In later interviews, writer Richard Matheson claimed that the film was bedeviled with script doctors that ruined the central premise of a white shark swimming upstream and becoming trapped in a lake.

          - Although most scenes in this film were actually shot in Sea World, where the film takes place, some environments depicted in the film do not exist at the actual theme park.

          - David Brown and Richard D. Zanuck, producers of the first two films, originally pitched this as a spoof under the title of "National Lampoon's Jaws 3, People 0". This was based on a suggestion by Matty Simmons and John Hughes and was about a movie studio trying to make a second sequel to Jaws. It opened with author Peter Benchley being eaten in his pool by a shark and included a naked Bo Derek and shark costumed aliens. Joe Dante was attached as director. The idea was crushed by Steven Spielberg, who threatened to walk from his deal with Universal. As it was, when Zanuck and Brown learned that their comedy was halted, they quit the studio.

          - Director Joe Alves was suggested to helm the film by veteran editor Verna Fields who won an Oscar for editing the first.




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