Holidays and Corpses
Tuesday, December 12th 2006
Is it that time again? Is it really Christmas, the holidays, whatever the
fuck you want to call this warm, mushy, yet cold time of year? OK, I have
to admit, I’m freezing in LA. I lived in San Diego for five years where
the weather is pretty much perfect. Here, I actually have to turn on my
heater. It sucks. And I could do without the Christmas shopping, but I
am excited about one thing, seeing my family. I haven’t seen most of my
family (including my poodles) in a year. Sad.
Along with the familial excitement, I have tattoo excitement. Next weekend,
people, Princess is getting another tat. You’ll see photos in no time.
To spice up the holiday season, I’ve interviewed Robert Rhine, the Publisher/Deaditor-In-Chief
of Girls and Corpses Magazine. I’d love to have a glass of tasty holiday
eggnog with him and one or two of his corpses. Cheers!
Check out the lovely rendition J.P. Butcher gave me for Christmas. He's
such a sweetie--in a serial killer kind of way. --> Princess
Jolene’s interview with “The Grin Creeper”
/ Deaditor-In-Chief of Girls and Corpses Magazine
Princess: Could you give me some general information
on Girls and Corpses? When it started? Why it started? Where it started?
R.S. Rhine: Girls and Corpses was hatched in my Petri dish of a brain about
four years ago when I was residing at the Institute for The Criminally
Insane in Simi Valley. The idea started when I used to bring corpses
each year to Comic-Con where I would exhibit my books and comic books.
Corpses are very hard to come by, or were back then, so I asked around
and heard about a guy through a guy who knew a guy that could acquire corpses
on the cheap without papers, though a guy named Kevin Klemm of The Ed Gein
I thought of the title Girls and Corpses Magazine one day when all these
girls would stop by my booth at Comic-Con and want to caress the corpses.
I thought, “What’s up with Girls and Corpses,” and a magazine was born.
Princess: What the fuck is the deal with the
R.S. Rhine: Well, if you’re asking if they are SAG, they aren’t. But they
are unionized through Teamster Union local 666. We hold auditions
about once a month for corpses. They travel from all over the world to
be in the magazine. But we are very picky. They have to be skinny, have
nice bone structure and not smell like a backed up sewer in August.
Princess: Have you ever fucked a dead body?
R.S. Rhine: That’s disgusting! How could you even ask me that?!
It’s called “making love!” Besides, I never kiss the dead and tell.
It is illegal, you know, to boff grandma. Arnold Schwarzenegger actually
wrote a bill banning sex with corpses. It may be the legacy of his governorship.
Princess: So I hear you're going to go to
print. Tell me about that. And you said the other day that we might be
seeing someone famous on the cover....you wanna give us a hint? (wink,
R.S. Rhine: We have a financier who has publishing experience. He has always
been fascinated by corpses and made his fortune in the funeral business
in New Jersey. His name is Louie. I can’t tell you his last
name for legal reasons. But his nickname is “The Undertaker.”
As far as our star for our premiere cover -- If I told you, I’d have to
kill you. But then, you could be in our magazine. It’s Martha Stewart.
Princess: I had the chance to meet a few of
your staff people -- one of your photographers took my pic and I briefly
met another of your publishers and the corpse maker...how did you meet
these people and explain the whole staff setup and what everyone does for
R.S. Rhine: I like to adopt talented orphans. There are tons of artistic
freaks in L.A. who can’t get a break. I’m the President of the club. I
recognize these talented souls and then take theirs, so they can work for
me for free for eternity. Kevin Klemm, Alert L. Ortega, Darren Frydendall,
John Boegehold and others, hair, makeup, wardrobe are all rare gems to
be dug up, polished and then locked in a vault.
Princess: You kind of remind me of one of
my college professors. Please tell me why.
R.S. Rhine: Because I am your professor – Dr. Necco Feelya. I died
a few years ago, remember? You fucked me to death between classes. I now
work for Girls and Corpses writing a sex advice column: http://girlsandcorpses.com/monthly/sextips.html
Princess: What do you want for Christmas?
1) My corpses two front teeth
2) A world where corpses and zombies can live in harmony and stop ripping
off each other’s limbs. There are enough living people to terrify
without tormenting each other.
3) A bicycle built for two corpses
Princess: Going to your site is a little overwhelming...corpses...tits...holy
shit......how is it organized and what can I expect to find in each issue?
R.S. Rhine: Our masthead says: Sex, Death, Music, Fiction, Cars, Babes,
Morgues. It’s all that, plus I like to interview interesting people
who work with the dead, hot bands, porn stars, horror directors and scream
queens, bondage queens, new strange products, crazy advertising gags and
whatever is on the edge of society interests me. I’d rather interview a
pimp than the Pope. (I could add something here but I don’t want
to piss off the Vatican. I have enough right wing nuts upset with me.)
Princess: What else do you spend your time
doing besides hanging with porn stars and printing pics of corpses?
R.S. Rhine: Masturbating and reading the Bible. Not necessarily in that
Princess: Continuing from the last question,
I'd love to know more about your background.
R.S. Rhine: I was raised on an ass farm in Northwestern Kentucky. We raised
domestic donkeys. I got the chore of milking the donkeys to make
ass cheese and sometimes I got to castrate the male donkeys. It was bloody
hard work but fun. After grammar school, my dad, who was in the Naval Reserves,
moved the family to Lancaster Pennsylvania where we continued to make ass
cheese and we became Mennonites. I hated wearing the wool clothing and
hat so I fled with my deaf sister, Amanda, and traveled with the Peace
Corps in Beirut until 1994 when the war started. That’s when I met my first
wife, Lucy, a pottery designer who lost her leg in a ballet accident. We
broke up when I caught her throwing more than pottery – she had thrown
herself into the arms of local deputy Sheriff ‘Potter’ (of all names).
Anyhow, the story gets stranger from there. I’ve lived all over the world,
worked in the mines, sold talcum powder to the Zuni Indians and lost all
my money on my invention, a respirator for cats.
Princess: What are your top three favorite
horror movies and why?
R.S. Rhine: Alien, Exorcist, Jaws. They all have great stories
and don’t rely on just gore to tell their story.
Princess: Your name sounds incredibly made
up. Am I right? Is it?
R.S. Rhine: Are you referring to Corpsy or Robert Steven Rhine? One of
the two is made and up the other is my birth moniker. But I am also
known as Dr. Necco Feelya and have doctorate to prove it.
Princess: In regards to Satan's 3 Ring Circus
of Hell, your graphic novel, it looks really awesome.........when did this
come about? And I guess this question is tied to question #1, huh?
R.S. Rhine: I was always a huge fan of the “Tales of The Crypt,” EC comics,
Mad Magazine, Zap and National Lampoon. I’ve always enjoyed blending
humor and horror. I also had a stint as a freelance writer for Cracked
Magazine and other comic books like Insidious Tales. During that time,
I had been writing horror fiction and had sold stories to over 100 print
magazines. One of those stories was illustrated by Connecticut artist,
and Asylum Press President, Frank Forte. He had the same dark twist
as I, so I convinced him to move to L.A. and we started working together.
My first published book was “My Brain Escapes Me” (Sun Dog Press -- available
at Amazon.com) which contained thirty short insane stories. But I had also
knew a lot of horror artists, through Frank Forte and thought the time
was ripe to do a horror comic book which were dead at that time.
So… I wrote my first comic book, an anthology with three different artists,
titled “Selected Readings From Satan’s Powder Room,” (featuring Satan on
the cover, sitting on a toilet). It was a huge hit at Comic-con and
sold 2,000 copies the first weekend. Next up, I wrote, “Chicken Soup for
Satan” which was also was a hit and led to “Satan Gone Wild.” These
first three comic books, all published by Asylum Press, spawned the 280
page, color graphic novel beast, “Satan’s 3-Ring Circus Of Hell,” featuring
43 of the top comic book artists in the world: Guys like Tim Vigil,
William Stout, John Cassady, Hilary Barta, Alan M; Clark, Jim Smith, Frank
Forte, Spain Rodriguez, Jeff Gaither and many others. Which you can order
Princess: Are you pushing any holiday gear?
I know you have a calendar out...what else do you have that would be of
interest of Flesh Farm fans?
You can get our Corpsy The Love Doll here:
You can get our 2007 Girls and Corpses limited edition calendar and t-shirts
Or, you can buy a corpse or corpse parts, severed heads and such, at:
We also offer a special service called MY VERY OWN CORPSE where you can
send us a photo of yourself or a loved one, and we send you back your corpse: http://girlsandcorpses.com/monthly/yourveryowncorpse.html
Oh, and you can still get a cat respirator on my website at:
Princess: And, finally, tell our Flesh Farm
fans why you don't want their beloved Princess Jolene's tits flashed across
the pages of your horror-ific mag? ;-)
R.S. Rhine: We’d love to see your bodacious ta-tas but we don’t show nudity
in our magazine. It embarrasses the corpses and, secondly, who said we
don’t want you to be in our magazine?! Our corpses got boners the first
time they laid eye sockets on you. So let’s do it! You sound primed and
ready to go. How do you like your corpses, rare, medium or well done?
Princess: Of course, I know my tits aren't
for everyone. I'm just giving you shit. Am I allowed to give you shit?
R.S. Rhine: Enough about your tits – let’s talk about your tits some more.
What do you mean your nips aren’t for everyone? What are they like banana
boobs or something?
Besides, “shit” is fine by us, so long as it’s funny.
Remember, shit sells. Check out our celebrity Scat Match in our current
issue. Good luck: http://girlsandcorpses.com/issue14_celebscat.html
And if you haven’t seen Girls and Corpses yet, please check it out. As
our motto says, “So many corpses… so little time” http://girlsandcorpses.com/
Robert Steven Rhine's home site is: http://www.robertrhine.com/